Passing Thoughts
by AtomicPigeon
Summary: Scott thinks about the women in his life. Rated PG-13 for a cuss word or two, and some sex references.


Passing Thoughts  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-men or anything. Spoilers: Anything up to the end of season 2. This takes place just before Day of Reckoning. Note: This is my first attempt at fanfic ever, so any constructive criticisms, comments, or whatever would be good. I have a lot of respect for those of you who do this well, it's not as easy as it looks.  
  
Scott opened his eyes to the familiar red hue of the night sky. Still groggy, it took him a moment to remember where he was. Sitting up, he turned and grabbed his shirt from the backseat. Taryn was still sleeping in the front seat, nestled under the blanket that Scott kept in his car for emergencies.  
  
"Must've dozed off for a bit."  
  
He checked his watch. 3:17 a.m. He let out a sigh. It was going to be a real bitch getting up in the morning. Careful not to disturb Taryn, Scott hopped out of his convertible. It was a beautiful spring night, and he figured he might as well take a walk. He looked around at the picturesque landscape. He liked to take girls there when he wanted a little action. Other times he would sit on the grassy knoll and do his homework, just happy to have a little peace and quiet. More than anything, this was his getaway spot. Whenever he need to clear his head of all the crap that went along with being a teenager, or mutant, or both, he would just hop in his car and drive there. Some nights he even walked.  
  
He looked back at the girl sleeping in his passenger seat. She was lovely, especially in the pale glow of the moonlight. She was also sweet and nice, and she really liked him, but he was used to that. Since he hit puberty, there always seemed to be a steady line of girls who were interested in him. And yes, she was a fantastic lay. But Scott knew that she wasn't the one for him. For one thing, they didn't really have all that much in common. The uncomfortable silences which crept up during their conversations told him as much. Plus, Taryn was kind of ditzy and could be really annoying when she was talking about things that Scott had no interest in.  
  
"I mean, geez, how much can one person ramble on about shoes?"  
  
He felt a little bad about being with someone who he knew it wasn't going to work with, but hell, he was human. He had urges just like the next guy. He also knew that she was just as game for a romp in the sack as him, so why not? Jean certainly wasn't giving him the time of day.  
  
He paused. Looking around, he realized that he was standing on the spot where he and Jean had been "stranded" a few months before. Kurt and Kitty had stolen both his keys and Jean's cell phone while they had a party in the Professor's absence. He chuckled at the coincidence, then frowned when he thought about the incident. Back then, he and Jean had been bickering on an almost daily basis. Things had started to go downhill when she had started dating Duncan.  
  
Scott's mind filled with images of the two of them together. On a totally superficial level it made sense. She was the top female athlete in the school and also head cheerleader. He was the quarterback of the football team. They seemed like the perfect couple. But honestly, he didn't get what she saw in him. The guy was, after all, a total prick. Was she really serious about him, or was she just playing games with both of them?  
  
Scott grimaced. Neither scenario was all that desirable. In the former case, it would mean that he had misjudged the strength of their relationship. In the latter, it would mean that Jean was being cold- hearted and manipulative, which made the prospect of being with her much less desirable. Maybe it was a little of both.  
  
She seemed to have changed in the past few months into a different person. Often Scott saw some of her subtle shifts in behavior as a cause to sit her down and have a heart-to-heart, but he could never quite find the right opportunity.  
  
"Even if I did get the chance, what would I say?"  
  
A few days prior, Jean had finally decided to open up to him, telling him about how things weren't so perfect between them after all. It caught him by surprise, and he had been on the verge of just blurting out his feelings for her. Luckily, fate intervened that day and he was granted a stay of execution. Yet having been so close to admitting the truth to her was an eye opening experience, and it left him wondering.  
  
"Do I really even still feel that way about her?"  
  
He began to walk back to his car. Maybe he was going to tell her just to get it off his chest. After all, he had felt that way for so long, it would seem...well...anti-climactic if he didn't at least say something about it. It was as if he was so comfortable with the whole sorry dynamic that had formed between the two of them, he was hesitant to change it, in spite of what his head, and possibly even his heart, told him.  
  
But their relationship was changing, and Scott knew it. It couldn't be that same old routine anymore. She would flirt with him, getting his hopes up, and then she would gallivant around with every other guy under the sun. He would always respond by brooding and acting withdrawn until she would flirt with him again, and the cycle repeated itself. Things were coming to a head now, and there would finally be a resolution, for better or worse. Trouble was, at this point, Scott wasn't sure what he wanted the outcome to be, so he couldn't really take an active role. The best he could do was let things happen and hope for the best.  
  
"Great. So in other words, I'm basically fucked."  
  
He tried to put the whole thing out of his mind for a moment.  
  
"I don't know what you see in Little Miss Perfect anyway," He could practically hear Rogue's voice saying.  
  
"Rogue...now THERE'S a girl I have no idea how I feel about."  
  
He stopped walking again, and this time his mind summoned up images of their time in New York. They had talked about all sorts of things during those few days, and Scott was surprised at how easy she was to talk to, and he found himself opening up to someone for the first time in a very long while. He was equally surprised at the fact that she was also letting her guard down with him. Sometimes Scott had to remind himself that behind the brooding and occasional snappishness, there was a real person who was as vulnerable and frightened as any other teenager. Then again, he thought, one could probably say the same about him.  
  
Since that time, they had gotten steadily closer. Sometimes he would give her a ride home from school and they'd chat. Others, she would come and sit next to him while he was watching TV, and they'd end up talking late into the night. As strange as it seemed, Scott really felt like he could be himself around Rogue. Plus, even though she was a bit younger, she did have a kind of dark sex appeal. Every so often, the thought of taking their relationship to the next level occurred to him, although another thought always followed.  
  
"I haven't got a clue about how she feels about me. And even if I did, the whole no touching thing kinda restricts what we can do together."  
  
Scott had no problem admitting he had no idea how to read women, and Rogue was no exception. He did, however, occasionally catch her staring at him during class. And she also seemed to smile a lot more around him. And she did always seem to stick close to him during training sessions in the Danger Room. On the other hand, he could just be imagining the whole thing. Maybe she just saw him as the team leader, or a friend, or both, or neither. He really didn't know.  
  
Scott looked at his watch and realized that he had been walking and thinking for over an hour. He reached his car and saw Taryn still sleeping comfortably. Feeling a bit drowsy, he jumped into his car and lay back in the driver's seat. A picture of the three women in his life formed in his mind.  
  
"So maybe I don't know which one's really right for me. But it's cool. Because instead of being totally neurotic and analyzing everything to death I'm just gonna try to let things flow for once, and hopefully all this shit will work itself out."  
  
He fell asleep with the night sky spread out before him.  
  
-fin- 


End file.
